RT @gdimelow: Hitchens: “The four most over-rated things in life are champagne, lobster, anal sex and picnics.” Maybe if he’d tried them …
RT @gdimelow: Hitchens: “The four most over-rated things in life are champagne, lobster, anal sex and picnics.” Maybe if he’d tried them …
I’m not hungry. I’ll just have some of yours. @shitgirlssay
Don’t you mean: I hope I’m the xfactor winner so I don’t ever have to go back to Middlesbrough #amelia #xfactor
RT @badbanana: If you’re already drunk and making toast, good luck figuring out if you’re having a stroke.
RT @shelbyfero: “Are you talking to me?” - guy who almost gets quotes right
First Kelly is a no show. Now the whole show hasn’t turned up #xfactor
If this memory foam mattress could talk..
Its the most important joke of the day “@jondaly: I’m doing breakfast jokes. I’m also doing breakfast yolks… Into omelettes! #hashbrowns”
American Horror Story is superb #fx
I’ve always wanted shoes that remind me of my own mortality! @ToniLeoni @MarcVachonla: Skull printed MV HiTops ROCK!! http://t.co/p7nVjDzR
RT @SarahKSilverman: Even posthumously, Bukowski is responsible for countless drunks who tell themselves they’re artists.
RT @Kurt_Vonnegut: Life happens too fast for you ever to think about it. If you could just persuade people of this, but they insist on a …
I always have doubts about someone who dresses in mainly one colour. #exceptblack
GUS FREROTTE #quarterbacksBetterThanRomo #headbutt #butthead
“Be richer by buying this”
